Competitions and CrossFit

I’m a pretty competitive person in general but I am not a fan of doing competitions.  I get myself all worked up, get a stomach ache for days and frankly it hurts, the next day you wonder where the truck is that ran you over and backed up over you.  You push yourself harder than you would on a daily basis and you learn a lot about yourself.  At these competitions I rarely win and I like to win.  There are always those that are better than you and there are always those that are worse and sometimes you are dead last but at least you know where you stand.

Why would I keep doing them?  Mainly because I love the adrenaline rush, the camaraderie of the team and the CrossFit community.  Beyond winning, everyone there wants you to do the best that YOU can do.  It’s one big team.  You can always feel it.  It’s palatable.

Yesterday in the final team competition the last task was to lunge with a 70 pound axle bar (fat fucker) over your head.  Let me tell you, it was not easy.  One of the women was struggling hard, dropping it without making the distance.  The crowd gathered around her cheering her forward.  Time was running out and she didn’t have anything left, yet she never gave up, drawing strength from the crowd.  It’s amazing to see, no one cared that she couldn’t do it they just cared that she was trying and giving everything she had.

If we could pull this from the competition and translate it into the real world, think of how much better off we would be as a society.  Instead of belittling people and pushing them down, why don’t we pull them up?  Cheer for little victories because in life it’s all about the little victories.

Angels on Earth

The wings of angels are often found on the backs of the least likely people. ~Eric Honeycutt

Many angels have flitted in and out of my life, swooping in to save me.  I got to thinking about them yesterday and how much help they have given me along the way.  Here are a couple of them.

My first cross country trip.  Alone.  I was 19, just married and looking for a little adventure.  Jason had enlisted with the air force and was in San Antonio, Texas for basic training.  I was bored and missing him so I decided to take the three day drive and go for a visit.  I loaded up my Volkswagen Fox with my new bumper sticker scored at one of the last Dead shows before Jerry died.  

I was off.  I had my route mapped out in yellow highlighter on the huge road map next to me, the radio blaring but me singing a little bit louder. Excited and not in the least bit nervous.  I drove all day and at about 12 in the morning I was in the mountains of Tennessee.  It was cold and it was really dark and I had a flat tire.  Ok, now I was a bit nervous.  I got out my can of fix a flat and pumped up my tire.  I made it another 10 miles before it went flat again.  So here I was with a flat tire in the middle of the mountains in the middle of the night and it was cold!   Great.  There was hardly any traffic except the big rigs flying past me.  As soon as was getting out of the car to go change the tire one of the rigs pulled in behind me.  He got out of his truck and told me to get back in my car and he would change my tire for me.  I couldn’t believe it.  He told me he had a little sister and he hoped someone would do the same for her.  I offered to buy him a cup of coffee.  He refused, changed the tire, shut the trunk, wished me luck, got back in his rig and disappeared down the road.

A couple years later, we were stationed in Grand Forks,  North Dakota.  I had given birth to twin boys and they were about 6 months old.  We decided it was “easier” for me to fly by myself with the boys to visit the grandparents.  The trip home was pretty uneventful but I found most people tried to help me in anyway they could to get me to the next gate, off the plane etc.  My angel appeared on the flight home.  It was a miserable stormy day and we ended up sitting on the tarmac in Baltimore for over an hour.  The boys started screaming and the poor guy in the seat next to me looked pretty miserable.  A lady from the front of the plane offered to hold one baby for me and I quickly offered him up since I knew she wasn’t going anywhere and frankly at that point I would have paid her to take him.

The plane eventually took off the delay causing us to miss our connecting flight.  I started to freak.  I had no money left, not enough extra diapers, formula or food for myself and no way to pay for a hotel for the night.  The pilot heard my plight, paid for my hotel, bought diapers, formula and my dinner.  The poor guy that was stuck next to me on the flight helped me get to the hotel shuttle, missed his shuttle waiting for mine and saw to it I got on the shuttle safely before waiting even longer for his to come back around.  We got on our connecting flight the next morning and to Jason waiting for us.

It had rained a considerable amount in a short period of time.  The stream behind our house was swollen with rain water.  The boys were down at the tree fort at the part of the stream that flowed under the road via a culvert pipe.  Not thinking anything Drew stepped onto what he thought was solid earth but it was nothing but debris rushing in the water and collecting at the culvert.  He was immediately pulled under the water.  Ryan grabbed onto his brother holding him.  His face was submerged and the water rushing so hard it pulled his pants and under pants clean off his body.  The rebar rusted and broken allowing him passage into the pipe.  Ryan was screaming losing his grip on his brother Drew still submerged in the water.  Our neighbor Dan was getting ready to leave when he heard Ryan’s screams.  Running to find them he pulled Drew out of the water and carried him home.  In the emergency room they cleaned up Drew’s cuts and bruises, made sure there was no water in his lungs and sent him home.

While some of my angels may not have saved my life they certainly helped make it better and possibly saved it.  I owe a lot to Dan.  He saved Drew’s life, no doubt.  He will always be an angel to me.

Angel in the clouds.

You never know when your angels will appear.  Acknowledge them, thank them and keep on keeping on.

Wander Lust

I like adventure.  Lately I haven’t been very adventuresome, actually quite bored.  In my boredom I picked up the book, Wild by Cheryl Strayed.  It tells the tale of Cheryl’s lone trek through the Pacific Coast Trail.  I have been inspired.

My love of nature can be traced back to me being in a back pack carried by my Mom in the woods of Patapsco State Park.  My childhood was spent outdoors exploring the marsh and creek that was right outside of my house, never wanting to be inside, we were out there sun up to sun down.  I now live in a place called “The Wilderness” and I have explored every nook and cranny, so, it’s time to broaden my horizons and find more happy trails.  In looking for a hobby I have found one ready made for me. So my camera and my feet will take me on some new adventures in finding beautiful.

Underwear and Blowing Wind

I’m a giver.  A sucker for charity.  I do races, fundraiser, food drives and I’ve even “adopted” a child from Africa to whom I send $30 each month.  I don’t have much in the way of money but I do have more than the majority of the worlds poor so I share.  I can’t help everyone but I do my best to help who I can.  I can give up having breakfast out 3 times per month and give it to someone who doesn’t have life’s basic necessities.

Today I was supposed to run around our nations capital in my underwear.  For the past three years I have braved Februarys cold, stripped down to my under things and raised money for kids and their fight against cancer.  I was going to continue my tradition but Mother nature has decided to put a halt to the run.  I still managed to raise almost $650 but I will not travel across the Bay Bridge.  With winds up to 50 or so miles per hour and wind chills dipping into the negatives it’s just not safe.  So I’ll probably run around the yard and come inside to a nice warm fire to thaw out and maybe a shot or two of whiskey.

Sandbagging

Nature is where it’s at.  I always feel good in nature even though it’s not always a comfortable place to be.  There is something so calming about not being needed.

Everything functions with or without you.

It is so unlike our little bubbles we manipulate and call life.  Funny how we introduce drama and plight without even knowing it.  It’s like we thrive on it, need the adventure to keep ourselves busy and distracted.

No one makes me do anything yet I always feel the need to put a deadline on myself.  A challenge for this or a challenge for that, you must write 5 blog posts in 5 five days.  Blah blah blah.  Why do I keep putting this pressure on myself?  So I can grow?  So I can change and become someone better?  Will I?  Or will I continue to use it to really accomplish nothing.  I have the ability to do anything I want and yet I chose to do nothing with the premise of something great.  I am sandbagging at life.  Nothing changes or grows without movement and whether that movement is forward or backward doesn’t matter.  Stagnation happens when you are sitting still and I feel like all I do anymore is sit still.  I need to find my drive.  Something to propel me forward.

The Importance of Donut Days

Sure, I enjoy cheesecake and ice cream.  I love a cupcake or warm pretzel but what I really love is the donut.  Fresh baked, light and airy, honey dipped goodness.  Sugary treats are good, really good and if I had no will power, they would own me.  Instead I chose to own them.  Once per week.

I eat a pretty healthy diet.  Lots of veggies, plenty of venison and fresh caught seafood, healthful fats and once a week is donut day.  Life is meant to be be enjoyed when possible and I make it possible every Friday.  I allow myself to eat as many donuts as I want.  A dozen if the mood strikes me.  Thank God it usually doesn’t.  Three seems to do the trick.  I find if I eliminate all that is good, all I want is, what is good (when I say good, I mean BAD).  Allowing myself that treat once a week stems the tide of the sugary shit onslaught and I don’t end up hating myself.

It has taken me years to get here.  Oh, you mean moderation is the key???

Seeking the Sun

Every since I was a little girl I have sought the sun.

I want to be a beach bum.

To live in flip flops and sundresses.

To feel it heating my skin, the prickle of the burn, the flush of pink skin sprinkled with freckles turning brown with time.

In high school I compiled a list of songs that contained the word sun in them.  Walking on Sunshine and Here Comes the Sun.

I have a sun tattooed in the middle of my back.

I shun sunscreen and feel a chill in the shade.

When Jason joined the Air Force all I could think was being stationed in Florida or California or Hawaii…North Fucking Dakota was it but that is a blog post in itself.

Clothes are constricting and layers suffocate me.  Socks just suck.  How can you have sand between your toes when you have socks on?

February should be deleted from the calendar.  It’s short anyway.

Summer is when I feel most alive.

The sun and I are buds.

Stuck

A blog post a day for one week.  Shouldn’t be a problem.  I took on this challenge to help me get my creative juices flowing again.  I feel like I have been living in a fog.  Ask me what I want and for the first time in my life I can’t answer that question.  I have always known what I want and where I’m headed.  I find myself searching for change, for something different but I don’t know what that looks like.  I am unable to draw a picture of my future because when I close my eyes all I see is the fog.

Maybe through this process I can find my creativity again and the information will start flowing freely.  So you may get a week of rambling thoughts as I go through this challenge and maybe just maybe the fog will start to clear…

Get out of your dreams and into your life

Being a dreamer myself, I have found it is exceptionally easy to fall into the trap of dreams.  To always wonder why things aren’t happening instead of making them happen.  Yes, you can have most anything you dream but if you get too caught up in the dreaming aspect of it, you never get caught up in the action aspect and that, my friend, is where the magic happens.  In order for your dreams to come true you must MAKE them happen, they don’t just fall out of the sky into your lap.

 

 How do you know you are making them happen?  Do you ever feel that flutter of fear or anxiety?  That is a signal you are on the right track.  When you are doing things that scare you, you are making progress.  Are you uncomfortable making that phone call, putting yourself out there, challenging yourself?  These are sure signs you are making things happen.  

If you are focusing on the big picture, that door that just opened is ignored and you walk right past it.  You don’t see your actual progress and it is discounted.  Instead focus, laser focus, on small goals.  Goals are what bring you closer to your dream.  When you focus on those goals and do it well and do it brilliantly with everything you got, you get closer and closer and closer and one day, you wake up, look around and say “Holy shit!  How did I get here?”