Freedom

“Freedom’s just another word for nothing left to lose.”~Janis Joplin

I am at a place in my life where I am faced with absolute freedom.  I have no plan, no idea what is next.  I keep telling myself I should be coming up with something, but I am eerily calm with this.  A chance to do absolutely anything I want because I will no longer be responsible for anyone other than myself.  I mean, other than cooking for Jason because he would starve to death before cooking himself a meal let alone a vegetable.

Freedom is a state I have always wanted to achieve.  Maybe this is why I am so calm about it.  When asked what I wanted, I answered freedom.  What the hell does that mean?  According to the dictionary:

noun \ˈfrē-dəm\

 Definition of FREEDOM

1:  the quality or state of being free: as

 a :  the absence of necessity, coercion, or constraint in choice or action

Absence of necessity in action.  Hmmm.  I am an action filled person.  If a mood or idea strikes me, I act.  I have little fear because I never look to the future.  I feel that takes care of itself.  Consequences be damned.  This of course drives my husband bonkers.  You have to have a plan, you have to look to the future.  What will become of us?  Maybe I need to plan.

I’ve never had a plan, I’ve had ideas and inspiration, and there are things I just know.  For example, I have known since I was 4, even told my mother then, I was going to have twin boys.  I have twin boys.  I knew I wanted to work for myself so I became a massage therapist and opened my own practice.  I wanted an awesome gym to workout in, so I built a Crossfit gym.  Once inspired it’s going to happen.  The problem currently is I am lacking inspiration.  Nothing is sparking me.

Ok, so I come up with a plan, then what?  They never work out the way you want them to and there are many ways to end up at the end goal so why limit yourself?  It only leads to frustration and feeling of failure when your plan doesn’t work.  I say hey, eliminate the stress and just go with the flow.  This of course leads me to looking like I’m bat shit crazy(which I was told I am by Jason and Ryan).  You see I am a dreamer, a lover, and girl with no plan other than being happy.  I am open to any and all inspiration though…